Friday, June 27, 2014

A Letter To My Boy on His First Birthday

Goodness, I've been a happy, sad mess all week. It took me nearly an entire box of Kleenex to get through this post. This year has gone by so quickly and words escape me as I sit back and think about just how much life has changed these last 365 days since we welcomed Bennett Bernard into this world. 

My Sweet Baby Bennett,

I remember it like it was yesterday...the day you came into our lives and changed it forever. It was a perfect summer evening, Thursday June 27th and your daddy and I headed to the hospital to get settled in for a long anticipated induction. The following morning our extended families joined us, anxiously awaiting your debut.  FINALLY, nearly 30 hours later we were taken back to the O.R. so we could find a way to bring you to the world and meet your sweet face - June 28th, 2013.
WHAT. 
A. 
DAY! 
You can read more about all of those details here

Looking back, it seemed to take FOREVER, but in all honesty it happened so quickly and to me it seems like it was over in an instant, though I remember there was lots of prayer, lots of laying in question, lots of tiredness, lots of joy, to be completely honest -- there was also lots of pain, and endless amounts of tears. I can close my eyes and remember hearing your Daddy telling me he could see you...you were here.

Although I didn't conventionally get to hear your baby cries (because I was down for the count for a few moments…) once I heard your Daddy tell me you were here and you were okay, my heart skipped a beat, I was a MOM. That was the day you took my heart and wrapped it around your tiny little finger. That was the single best day of my life. I don't think you were sat down for one second those five days we stayed at the hospital (yes we were there for an enternity)...it was a constant flow of love and support that flooded through those doors to wish us well and bless this new life God had created.

In the weeks that followed, life was crazy...tough...scary...emotional...but mostly, it was happy. It was learning how to feed and bath you, it was learning what each of your cries meant, it was learning how to overcome the newborn obstacles you threw at us, it was learning to adjust our lives because you were the top priority, and it was your daddy and I learning how to become parents.
Undoubtedly, this year has been the hardest, but BEST and most rewarding year of my life. But I wouldn't have it ANY other way. Daddy and I made the decision for me to be a semi-stay-at-home mama while I work from home, and though sometimes I think being at home is harder, I wouldn't change that decision for one single second. It brings me so much happiness that I get to be the one to wake you up each morning and feed you, put you down for your naps, take afternoon strolls to the park to go swinging, and spend those lazy days where we lounge in our jammies all day and we don't have a care in the world. I treasure each of these moments with you Bennett because it's given me so much joy and pride. We are truly blessed. 

You have made me realize what really matters in life, and that's faith and family. You have taught me so much about myself that I never thought I would know. You have the love and support of so many incredible people in your life and I am thankful for the guidance, help, and assistance from those closest to us...they have shaped me as a person and now they are doing the same for you. It's amazing to watch and witness first-hand.

We have experienced so much together during this first year...your first beach trip, your first plane ride, your first Christmas, your first bouts with sickness and colds, your first teeth, you were baptized, you went to your first baseball game, your first basketball game, your first picnic, your first international trip, your first professional pictures, your first foods-the list goes on and on. And my oh my, what amazing firsts they have been.

Month 1

As much as I am saddened at the thought that today marks the day we officially embark on toddlerhood and we leave behind your days of infancy, you will ALWAYS be my baby...remember that my sweet baby angel. Thank you for showing us a type of love we never knew could exist. Thank you for being our very best boy in the whole wide world Bennett! God gave you so many talents and gifts and I can't wait to see what He has in store for you and your vivacious personality, bundle of energy, infectious smile, and sweet disposition.

I love you Bennett…Happy Happy Birthday!
Mommy

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