Tuesday, August 26, 2014

How to Eat a Giant Marshmallow

Uhm, yes you read that right. I plan to share the utterly amazing step by step process of eating a giant marshmallow, with fun toddler pictures included.

Basically, I went to DC this weekend with all of my girly friends for a much needed gals weekend.  I proceeded to pretended as though I was once again wild and carefree without an ounce of responsibility.  Only to come home Sunday and be smacked in the face with two giant sized Costco bags of campfire marshmallows and realize, that is not the least bit true (okay, so the marshmallow bags to the face didn't really happen … but it seemed like a fitting analogy).

Alas, in my completely overwhelmed state of confusion with what to do next on my never ending to-do list, that I have been avoiding like the black plague, I hit a low point.  Today, while my toddler was testing my nerves, I decided to give in to his fury and simply feed him fortified sugar in hopes it would put an end to his incessant whining. In his defense I was all zombie like shuffling around the house and only read his favorite book twice compared to the normal fifteen … so it wasn't really his fault.

First, I gave him a popsicle. It was green and he seemed to like it okay.  I took a bite because it looked delicious (and maybe because my lunch consisted of coffee and a piece of cheese) only to discover it was some weird remake flavor of green apple … I made a disgusted face and threw it out without thinking.

He then proceeded to head into a full blown tantrum, so I opened the freezer door and opened him a fresh red one. Five minutes later I took another look in horror as my son, my dog, my windows, my floors, even my kitchen chairs were covered in a melty sticky red popsicle mess. Again, it's my own fault.

WHERE IS YOUR BRAIN KATIE?! You cannot simply hand a 14 month old child a red popsicle and expect him to eat it gracefully, uhhh duhhhh. Hurry, return quickly to DC and retrieve what is left of your brain before you end up some crazy woman. 

Okay, so it wasn't my brightest moment I agree. But in my haste I grabbed said red popsicle from his hands, threw it in the trash and went to cleaning. Only to realize … he was not finished. Yep, another tantrum.  At this point, there wasn't much left to do but laugh. And find another sugary replacement for his needs.  Que marshmallow introduction.

I had to laugh, and proceed to document the antics, because who would really believe me if I didn't?  And, if I wasn't doing this then I'd better be working and my brain just simply couldn't get there knowing there was nothing but sticky red popsicle residue all over the kitchen.  So, this seemed like a much better alternative. And before anyone makes any comments about how terrible my comma usage is right now, or how many run-on sentences just happened … I'm aware and yet will not be fixing them. Again - brain is not functioning at full capacity.

Anywhoodles, I give you: Giant Marshmallow Consumption

Step 1: Beg for sugary marshmallow treat
Step 2: Shove entire marshmallow into your mouth, even if it does not fit. Apparently removing your pants in another required step … must have missed that one.
Step 4: Run away as fast as you can so your mother does not make you remove giant marshmallow from mouth.
Step 5: Continue running, because you're a toddler and it's funny.
Step 6: Barricade yourself between the kitchen table and windows. Your mother is too large to fit, and if she tries, simply watching her will be worth the effort. Plus, you can continue to taunt her with the giant marshmallow still in your mouth.
Step 7: For added mother humiliation, pretend you are going to climb onto the table. That will really get her going.
Step 8: Kindly come out from the table because your mother is starting to have a panic attack and make her think you are going to give in.
Step 9: Be sure to show her the marshmallow is still completely in tact and you will not give it back. Add a smile so you're not in trouble, because she thinks this is really cute.
Step 10: Bend knees and begin to chew. This is getting tiresome.
Step 11: Stretch. You need to stay awake for the grand finale.
 Step 12: Giggle incessantly at your accomplishments thus far.
Step 13: Focus. Focus. Focus. You are almost there. Starting to drool, but this is a good sign. It means you have almost mastered the entire marshmallow in one sitting, and THAT my friends is an accomplishment.
 Step 14: Take a selfie with mom, but be sure to cut her out … she's had enough on her plate today.
Step 15: Lay on the ground and have your doggie help you with some of that marshmallow drool. It's genius if you think about it. doggie helps to clean you up, and you get to take a mini break because eating an entire marshmallow can make your legs tired.
 Step 16: Laugh again because this is disgusting and your a boy and that's funny.
 Step 17: Sit back up and put the rest of that ole' boy down the hatch. This ship has almost sailed.
Step 18: Smile about your accomplishments. That was some feat and gosh darn it you deserve some applause after that performance.
Step 19: Be sure to say thanks to those that helped you along the way … ride your doggie like a horsey and give her a big hug. You guys make one heck of a team.

Until next time … continue to tune into The Bennett and Maggie show.

Monday, August 18, 2014

Googles say whaaat?

I had a good laugh at myself today, and thought you'd enjoy laughing at my expense too. Have you ever taken the time to notice what Google puts in place for you on random searches? Clearly the only thing I use my computer for is baby knowledge, clothing trends and the occasional "am I going to die because my leg hurts" search.

Today, I real-life Googled "when do babies stop wearing onesies"

I was pleased to discover I am not the only mother asking this question. And the answer is around 12 months. WAHHHH. I love the onesie! Don't make it go awayyyyyy. Not yet!

Anways, I was typing in "when do babies" and I just started looking at what Google auto populated and I started laughing because either it is smart enough to know what I am thinking but too embarrassed to ask other people outloud, or other people are just incredibly ignorant and it shares that to make you feel better about yourself. 

So I decided to pass 20 minutes of my time by starting with generic questions just to see what Google could entertain me with. Exhibit A:

This is such a fun game. Why have I never played it before? Anyways, complete waste of your time. Sorry for taking that 5 minutes from you, I can't give it back.

Okay, back to more Google searches work. I've got important things to do ... :)

Thursday, August 14, 2014

Workin' On My Fitness

A couple of months ago a couple of buddies and I decided to try out the new barre workout fad. Believe it or not, I'm getting pretty into it. My biggest struggle has simply been sticking with a routine during the crazy busy summer months and days, but I'm sure that goes with anything … so I'm still going to say it's a win.

If you've ever taken a barre class you'll really appreciate this blogger's post. I feel compelled to share it with you simply because it is hysterical and so completely on point.

But anyways, back to the topic at hand: Fitness Fashion. Recently I posted about some lustful items I've been eyeing for my birthday list.  So, today I'm gonna share some new workout gear I've got my eye on. A new season doesn't just mean regular clothes refresh, workout gear need some freshening too … am-i-right?!


Daybreak Hoodie | Intention Cover Up | Cochise Jogger Shoe by The People's Movement (MOVMT) | Pallabrouse Baggy Boot by Palladium  | Powerhouse Mesh Tank | Odyssey Cami | Fast Track Tank

First, you'll notice this list does not include anything lulu lemon. And let me mention, if I could afford it and all its glory I would likely have listed all new lulu items (since I seem to the be the only one in my classes that doesn't rock it 24/7), but I can't so I don't even know what size I would be and all that jazz. So, I'll stick with my trusty Athleta and Gap brands … they're working juuuuust fine. 

Second, the tanks: I'm sort of obsessed with all things strappy when it comes to work out tanks right now. I still love the tried and true racer back, but something about the strappiness makes me feel really feminine and dare I say, a little pretty?

Third, the hoodie and tunic cover up: nothing says fall like a great jacket. These are on point.

Fourth, the shoes: no, you don't wear shoes to the barre, but I mean seriously. Those tennis?! How fab would those be with a good ole' pair of boyfriend jeans. And the boots, I love the sneaker feel while combining them with my ultimate love: boots. Simply can't go wrong. 

Okay, I'm off to move no more than an inch, but it will be the hardest thing I do all day. (Fellow barre goers … see what I did there?!)

Friday, August 8, 2014

Love it and Lust it

Well hellloooo Friday. And hello month before my birthday!  I'm starting to swoon over new fall items that are making their way to my inbox, store shelves, and favorite websites. I can't help but think I better start putting together a wishlist for the ole' bday :) hehe.

My current items I'm lusting over include these beauts. 
BDay wishes

Monday, August 4, 2014

Recipe Monday: Sun Tea

Okay, my girl Miranda Lambert came out with a song this summer titled: Automatic. Besides the fact that it's a super stellar tune, there is a lyric in the song that goes "Quarter in a pay phone, drying laundry on the line, watching sun tea in the window, pocket watch, tellin' time"

If you wanna check it out, here's the tune:

Automatic by Miranda Lambert on Grooveshark

Otherwise, just take my word for it and the fact that "watching sun tea in the window" has been my real-life little rascals' example of "babes are like a bad song … once you get em' stuck in your head you can't get em' out again."  Yep, that's me … just gallavanting around all summer long jamming to Automatic in my head.

Catchy tune aside, finally I decided to not only sing it, but bring back a fond childhood memory of making sun tea with my momma. Nevermind the fact that as a small child I HATED tea and my mom didn't like it either, so I INSISTED she make it with me time and time again only to throw the entire pitcher away an hour after it was complete.

But now, I am a poised adult who thoroughly enjoys not only making sun tea, but actually drinking it this time around. So I've devoted hot summer days to do just that. And I am happy to report my husband and small toddler also enjoy drinking said sun tea. Today, I share it with you!

Sun Tea Ingredients:
  • 12 cups hot water 
  • 8 tea bags
  • 1 cup sugar
  • Fresh mint sprig
  • Lemon slices
Alright, now for the hard part, the extremely complicated seven steps of completion (TOTALLY kidding). I forgot to start taking photos until I actually got it outside, but hopefully you can imagine what adding water and sugar to a container looks like :)

Step 1: Place 12 cups of warm-hot water in large glass jar with metal top. (Mine has a plastic top and it doesn't freak me out, but a plastic container may. All that heat and those BPA conversations … I don't know, it's enough to just use glass .. k?)

Step 2: stir 1 cup sugar into water until dissolved.

Step 3: add tea bags and close the lid.

Step 4: Walk your happy little booty outside and put the container in the SUN. All sun, all  day err day. Turn right around and walk back inside WITHOUT the container in hand. Leave container in said sun spot 4-5 hours.

Step 5: Get a big ole' glass of ice ready.

Step 6:  Walk your even happier about-to-have-sun-tea booty back outside to retrieve container and bring inside. Or leave it outside and pour straight from the sun and then put it in the fridge … we couldn't wait a second longer!Pour the delicious concoction over a big ole' glass of ice.  (Yes, that is our horrible looking backyard. We had like 11 trees removed last fall and still have yet to take care of it. Our poor neighbors.)

Step 7: Add a mint sprig and some lemon if you're feeling fancy. Kick up your piggies and REFRESH. Sun tea peoples.

Getcha summa that good good.  Helllloooooooo summatime.

Friday, August 1, 2014

Confessional Friday: No More Rolls or Curls

It's been a while since I've played along, but I decided to link up with  Leslie today for Confessional Friday and get some stuff off my chest before we head into this AUGUST weekend ... sayyy whhhaaaaa??? Uhm am I the only one wondering where in the world July went? How is it seriously possible that all of the little tykes in my neighborhood go back to school in less than two weeks? DON'T GO SUMMER, DON'T GO!

So, let's start with that shall we?

I confess ... I am so not ready for summer to come to a close. I have had one of the best summers to date. Chalk it up to my first ever summer as an adult working from home, so I get to plan my days accordingly to ensure pool time, walks in the summer breeze heat, extended weekend trips, impromptu trips to the zoo and other excursions, fun extravaganzas with my mom, beach trips with the fam, hang out days with my boys, and just everything that summer has to offer + a tiny human to share it with. Thank you Summer 2014, Thank you. We have loved every second of you.

I confess ... The outlet malls 20 minutes from my house grand opened yesterday and the news is all warning everyone that traffic will be terrible and you should wait a few days to go and blah blah blahh. Buuut, I realllly want to be part of the crazy madness and see what it is all about. Today is supposed to be sort of low humidity, so I'm tempted to get a cram work session in the am and take little dude out for a stroll to snag some late summer deals. Can I get and AMEN for outlets that are FINALLY less than an hour away?

I confess ... When it comes to laundry day at my house I come dangerously close to losing my cool, EVERYTIME. Why you ask? It probably has something to do with the fact that my husband is a spoiled brat that has NEVER done his own laundry and therefore acts as such. My husband innocently and absentmindedly forgets helpful tidbits that make laundry day run a little smoother. Socks, Shane. Socks. Am I the only woman out here who's husband is not capable of taking his socks off properly? It's like he is psychically unable to remove them in a normal fashion and instead takes 20 minutes to roll them into a little ball.  Said balled sock, takes me an extra 20 seconds to first play seek and find in the hamper to ensure I have retrieved all of them; second carefully untangle the over-the-top mangled ball of colorful cotton combination slathering my hands in your previous weeks foot sweat - which inevitably makes me gag 10 times over; and third kindly place back in the pile containing the other 100 socks and 50 pairs of boxer briefs you managed to dirty in a mere 5 days. (the number of grammatical errors above is enough to make the socks unravel themselves, but I'm all worked up ... so I will not apologize) Let's ask one more question: Katie, why does it matter how he takes his socks off? Just put them in the washer all balled up and then deal with it later. Uhm, how bout NO SCOTT (Austin Powers anyone?). If you do this little number, THEN when you go to wash them, they remain damp, and almost still wet if I'm being honest. And THENNNNN they smell like mildew, and they are never clean. It's a vicious cycle. Whew. Okay, I digress ... until laundry day rolls around next week.
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I confess ... There are so many things happening in my life right now I feel like I need an entire week to sit down and process. Some I can share, some I cannot, but good grief I'm hanging on tight as to not spin out of control! So many emotions, so little time, so much to comprehend. EEEEEK.

I confess ... Our little dude got his first haircut last night. Because of said mop chop, I feel personally victimized for my decision (I kid ... sort of). Hubs and I just took the approach, when our son started resembling Joe Dirt more so than his next of kin ... it was indeed time. It was really sad to see the baby curls go, but all in due time. He did pretty good, had a mild meltdown, but mostly okay. He is now sporting a much more savvy baby boy do and looks mighty dapper if you ask me! And he got a sucker and a balloon to make it all worthwhile! The Mohawk will not be the daily style, we were just being funny to make it official.
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I confess ... I was a sucker at the Kid O Cuts and paid the extra moolah to get a commemorative first haircut certificate, baby curls included. (I blame it on my mommy hormones and baby curls).
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I confess ... In less than 3 weeks I am headed out on a much needed gals trip to celebrate our pretty bride to be - JENNI B! We're headed to DC to wreak havoc on the streets and giggle until our little hearts are content and I am Oh SO excited. Word on the street is an American theme is on the table. Oh lawd.

I confess ... I bought the cutest pair of jeans from the Gap (HOLLA for the 40% off right now) and it's making me so excited for fall and a new pair of camel toned boots. I'm not wishing away summer, but man oh man do I love fall.

I confess ... it is almost noon and that means it's basically the freakin weekend. YAHOOOO!