Basically, I went to DC this weekend with all of my girly friends for a much needed gals weekend. I proceeded to pretended as though I was once again wild and carefree without an ounce of responsibility. Only to come home Sunday and be smacked in the face with two giant sized Costco bags of campfire marshmallows and realize, that is not the least bit true (okay, so the marshmallow bags to the face didn't really happen … but it seemed like a fitting analogy).
Alas, in my completely overwhelmed state of confusion with what to do next on my never ending to-do list, that I have been avoiding like the black plague, I hit a low point. Today, while my toddler was testing my nerves, I decided to give in to his fury and simply feed him fortified sugar in hopes it would put an end to his incessant whining. In his defense I was all zombie like shuffling around the house and only read his favorite book twice compared to the normal fifteen … so it wasn't really his fault.
First, I gave him a popsicle. It was green and he seemed to like it okay. I took a bite because it looked delicious (and maybe because my lunch consisted of coffee and a piece of cheese) only to discover it was some weird remake flavor of green apple … I made a disgusted face and threw it out without thinking.
He then proceeded to head into a full blown tantrum, so I opened the freezer door and opened him a fresh red one. Five minutes later I took another look in horror as my son, my dog, my windows, my floors, even my kitchen chairs were covered in a melty sticky red popsicle mess. Again, it's my own fault.
WHERE IS YOUR BRAIN KATIE?! You cannot simply hand a 14 month old child a red popsicle and expect him to eat it gracefully, uhhh duhhhh. Hurry, return quickly to DC and retrieve what is left of your brain before you end up some crazy woman.
Okay, so it wasn't my brightest moment I agree. But in my haste I grabbed said red popsicle from his hands, threw it in the trash and went to cleaning. Only to realize … he was not finished. Yep, another tantrum. At this point, there wasn't much left to do but laugh. And find another sugary replacement for his needs. Que marshmallow introduction.
I had to laugh, and proceed to document the antics, because who would really believe me if I didn't? And, if I wasn't doing this then I'd better be working and my brain just simply couldn't get there knowing there was nothing but sticky red popsicle residue all over the kitchen. So, this seemed like a much better alternative. And before anyone makes any comments about how terrible my comma usage is right now, or how many run-on sentences just happened … I'm aware and yet will not be fixing them. Again - brain is not functioning at full capacity.
Anywhoodles, I give you: Giant Marshmallow Consumption
Step 1: Beg for sugary marshmallow treat
Step 10: Bend knees and begin to chew. This is getting tiresome.
Until next time … continue to tune into The Bennett and Maggie show.