Tuesday, March 15, 2016

Growth & Getting Dressed for Dinner

Last Sunday was a big day for our little Lainey ... she got all gussied up for her first big dinner and decided to sleep in her own room for the first night. It was a big day for Lainey, and a lot to handle for her momma.  It sent me into a tailspin of emotions and I was processing them as I wrote. I was trying to remember back to Bennett's first meal and I found this little blog post and got a little misty eyed thinking how much has changed since then!
Just the other day I was doing the kids' laundry and started tearing up as I was going back and forth between newborn and toddler sizes, wondering how time has gone by so quickly. And I suddenly realized how HUGE Bennett has become and my heart instantly broke in two.
My love is multiplying by the minute as I hold my littlest in my arms, but the moment that snuggle lasts too long my toddler is aware and needing love too. And just like that he's my baby again and I try to find the best way to make sure both of their needs are met. It can all be a lot to swallow sometimes and I'm learning to try and balance this juggling act with patience and grace.  As I know being so needed, is such a fleeting time. I strive to make sure my energy and love is equally placed with intention to each of their needs. And again, I find myself learning how to settle in to my new normal.

But, then there are nights like Sunday night, where you see them interact and love one another. And you watch big brother be proud of his little sister, even though "Wainey's food is SO gross! EEWWW" and it's like a big hug from the man upstairs that yes, growth is happening, and it's okay. It's happy. And it's the way it's intended to be.
My kids are learning to love one another just as we love them. The oldest is growing to be an independent and strong willed little toddler that is meant to challenge us. The youngest is learning and watching and absorbing everything for the first time and reminding us to slow down and enjoy it. And all the while she has a great big brother, a built in best friend for life, to help pave the way. Shane and I are walking through this thing called "life" together and we're learning more about one another and ourselves than we ever thought possible.  And while we struggle with one another too, I love him more every day. Our kids are teaching us. As they grow, we grow. And we're all growing together.
Through tears I'm truly counting my blessings. I went to bed for the first time in over a year with my little Lainey more than an arm's reach away and while that growth is breaking my heart, I know it's a good thing. And I've got my hubby at arm's length and I get to have that forever. And that happy thought has me smiling again. Because let's be real, who knew oatmeal would make me so emotional? If we ever have a third kid someone remind me that maybe I should try rice cereal instead, because oatmeal is apparently too much for me to stomach. Ha!

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