Tuesday, November 1, 2016

Lainey's First Birthday Letter

Lainey,

When your older brother turned one year old nearly three and a half years ago I sat down to this little blog with tear filled eyes and wrote him a birthday letter. I've continued to do so every year since and so enjoy recounting the growth he's had over the past year. I'm not going to lie however, the last few months I have had a pit in my stomach knowing the time was drawing near to write you your very first birthday letter. I simply cannot believe an entire year has gone by and you are growing up!
Last night, we got home late from your first Trick or Treat (full recap on that this week). We had packed you a pair of jammies because we knew we'd be staying late and expected you to fall asleep on the way home and we'd transfer you to your crib. But, in true Lainey fashion you had other plans. Instead, you "talked" the whole way home. You recapped with all of us on your most favorite part of the evening, anticipated the candy you'd sort through when you got home (or that was our take on your baby gibberish anyways), and made sure we knew you were in the car too. You stayed awake long enough for me to to give you your nighttime bottle in your chair, one last time as our true "baby". For when you woke up today, you've officially become a toddler and such a big girl. And I'm thankful for that, both the opportunity to see you grow, and the official last baby evening. I cried the whole way through the feeding. You let me rock you and sing "Golden Slumbers" through my sobs and you smiled and were my baby. And sweetheart I can promise you no matter how old you are, that you will always be.
This year has been one for the books sister Lou. It's been a year. A hard, tiring, up hill battle that I never saw coming. So many thunderstorms we've endured this year, and yet the light that was always shining at the end of the storm was YOU! You my sweet Lainey gal are all of the puns and adjectives for the sliver lining that remained in the clouds of 2016. And that's truly the only way I can think to describe you. You're truly everything we never knew we needed and the light in a year of a lot of darkness. And my sweet girl you are light.
Your light shines so bright. I think your light may be called a few things other than light in the years to come (sass, spunk, attitude, to name a few), but sister you've got it and you make sure everyone sees it. And I love that about you. You are always smiling, you've never met a stranger (except for the occasional man with a beard) and you insist on including yourself and inserting yourself into just about every situation that exists.

You were set to come into this world on November 21, 2015. By way of C-section we were coming to get you on November 15, 2015. But you demanded you be a part of the action much sooner than that and you, our little Baby Moon, joined us on November 1, 2015. And oh, my goodness you were the best surprise in the whole world. For one, your surprise to join us early made things so great, because by the time your first holiday, Thanksgiving, rolled around we were all accustomed to one another and really able to celebrate. Second, finding out your were a girl, was a surprise I never could have imagined would make me so happy. I always imagined myself a boy mom, but now that I have you I realize God knew I needed a little mini me. And you are just that, and I can't wait to be best friends with you like your GoGo and me. It's one of God's greatest blessings. You showed up to the party early from the beginning and I have a feeling that will continue to set the tone for a lot of your life. Always eager to be a part of the action.
We have been through so very much in one short year. And here's a look back on how far we have come:
And now today, we celebrate your first birthday. Your official party with cake and the whole shebang will be on November 19th, but today is your day and we're all celebrating YOU! As I was rocking you last night, I prayed as tears streamed down my face. I pray for you all the time, but on birthday eve I prayed for your birthdays ahead. First, I prayed that God continues to bless me to be a part of as many as humanly possible. I pray so hard for that all the time. I pray always that we will wear matching Minnie ears in Disney World while you are little, that we will bake endless cookies in the kitchen and share giggles, that we will work together in the gym to perfect your serve to win the volleyball championship (or whatever it is you choose to play), that we will drive too far to pick out the most perfect prom dress and blush over your crush. That I will hug you entirely too tightly when I leave your dorm room on college drop off day, and probably will be forced to leave. And I pray we will take those best friends that have stood by you through it all to a bridal shop to say yes to the dress together. To dance all night and celebrate the perfect party we've thrown to celebrate you and your forever love. To decorate your first home together and put precious grand babies to bed in their new nursery. I pray for that happiness for you sweet girl.
Second, I pray for you and your complete happiness always. And mostly that you are blessed with the same amount of happiness I have been in this life. For friendships that last and bring you up in life, not down. A friendship with your brother and a closeness between the two of you that bonds you for a lifetime. Third, I pray for your daddy. I pray for you to always be able to see the amazing man that he is, both as a father and a spouse. And that you too will be blessed with a man one day that is just like him. He will bring you world's of happiness and laughter, and will be there for you when I am not able. I pray for your future family, should you choose to have one. I pray for you sweet baby. For happiness, health and wholeness all the days of your life. Fourth, I pray that you know the Lord. That you go to Him in moments of weakness. That you remember He will be your rock and while you will always be my baby, you belong to Him. He gave you to me, and me to you, but we are His and I pray you always know that.
Sweet girl, I am so excited to see what the future holds for you. It can be a dark and scary place, but you have been the light for us, and I pray you remain that all the days of your life. You are special to so many people and have so very much to offer the world. Value yourself precious girl, and continue to bring light to others. Be strong, be smart and have happiness in your heart. Happy Birthday Sweet Lainey Lou, you are my favorite little girl. I love you forever and ever.

All my love,
Mommy

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